My true age revealed...

I was sitting in thought, trying to justify a reason for 'calling it a day' despite an assignment due, when I realized I was eating a Tootsie-pop while watching UFO hunters with Ghost-hunters as the alternative channel. (History and Sci-Fi channels, respectively.) There's a general concensus amongst folks that I've never left my first childhood, so I can't be entering my second. I was suddenly flummoxed by wondering how old I was, and I had no good answer.

For the jumpy-type people out there, about the meanest thing you can do to them (after telling horror stories of the economy) is watch a scary movie late at night - The Exorcist has seen its day, but you get the drift. Sneak someone under the bed, and once they settle in the dark... start shaking it. Some have even lifted it a bit. Like I said, this is about the meanest thing you can do to someone. Expect repercussions if you do this, and once again remember I said not to try anything in these blogs (accept the next thing).

Reading Glasses: 1) I have them 2) I realized my eyes are fine, what's causing it is the world shrinking sporadically in a warped fashion. 3) I haven't figured out a way to unwarp the world.

But I did learn a very handy method to deal with "don't have glasses" when I need to read a piece of text - menus, price tags, etc. I curl up my index finger, making a very tiny 'spot' hole with it. It's the strangest thing, but you can 'adjust' this scope to bring things into focus that you can't see clearly otherwise! So I was told I looked a bit strange doing this in public - as if that is going to concern me (not an iota, truth of it). Being able to read something without having to fetch 'cheaters' with, or asking perfect strangers "...can you read this for me?" which seems a case of illiteracy and then I have to add an explanation for my request --- they're both annoying. I generally always have my finger with me. :)

I told you that was a 'handy' tip.

I also suggest if manufacturers have to use print so damned small we need a magnifying glass - what's that about? A pill bottle for seniors has directions on it in a size a sharp-shooter couldn't read, and to really make them question their abilities, the directions are no longer clear-cut: "Take 2 every 4 hours." That we can deal with, but instead there's this itty-bitty print across the whole bottle that drops in helpful things like "don't take if you're pregnant" (okay, most seniors qualify) or if your uncle had nosebleeds or if you may have problems with dizziness (do they mean regular stuff like the merry-go-round, or the fuzzy feeling of having run into yourself recently?) but otherwise if you're over age 3 (okay, got that) you may take One. But if you're over the age of twelve, you may take Two. But only take two once, then take One four hours later (unless you're in school, because if you have an aspirin with, you could be expelled for drugs) and if your ears start ringing (is that the usual hum-type ringing, or is it more like the after-effects of a huge crash ringing?) contact your doctor (which will be after clinic hours by the second dose, so good luck on that). You may take two twice, four hours apart, but no more than five in a day, unless otherwise specified by your doctor (which one - your general, your heart, or the one that asked you to read the eye chart when you had a metal sliver in it? -- okay, the last one didn't seem too bright, so check with one of the others). Now, I've been standing in the aisle reading this bottle repeatedly for 45 minutes, and I still don't know if I dare take it, or how many, and my head is pounding worse than ever, so I decide to risk it when I look at the price and realize -- for $10, my head isn't hurting that bad anyway, and there's a good chance it's a lack of caffeine so I go get a chocolate bar and wash it down with coffee.

WHICH IS WHY... I saw on the web that coffee may help prevent dementia in seniors. Trying to read the pill bottles would eventually cause anyone to be a bit unhinged, and those that just go off seeking a hot cup are bound to thrive better. They proved it.

Any questions?