I was exploring the 'lack of routine' in my life, and I recognized this began early-on.
By the time I was 16, I was waitressing both morning and night shifts at a local restaurant, depending on the schedule, within the same week. Some mornings I'd be there by 6:00, other nights my shift would end at 3:00 a.m. I'd often work doubles if another waitress (say a Friday night) talked me into it. I was already 'irregular' when this added to it.
Many of my jobs have fluctuated across the clock, working weekends, grave shifts, or getting up at 3:00 a.m. to prepare for work. Between these, I had four kids in six years that I was the sole caretaker for, simply because two out of two fathers did exceptionally little.
My days and nights blurred without a regular pattern across a variety of jobs that occasionally included overnights of 12 - 14 hours while still being the primary caregiver. What routine? Add in growing up on the farm, and weather was deciding factor on the days' activities. Rain at the wrong time could shut down baling hay, and seasonal changes brought shifts of their own.
There's a reason "I'm not routine oriented." This flows into other areas of my life, and I have no set pattern established for daily activities or spiritual exploration. The days vary according to the weather and necessary priorities (survey work, for example), yet I am the one that decides the order of events and what I engage in as opportunities arise. This is unpredictable!
(It seemed much of the world is routine-oriented, as was my stepmother at age 16, and somehow I was 'wrong' due to lack of it; yet in some ways, I think I live more in tune with 'the natural order' of things... Actually, I think I'm more influenced by the natural order, since a slow, grey day can cut my energy in half and the prediction of rain may keep me working outside until midnight.)
The other awareness is not 'fear-based', simply recognition. When storm signals abound, dismissing them is poor judgment. The weather is none too stable lately in small ways; we had frost warnings last night (!Heaven forbid!) and May was the third least-rainy May on record here - since about 1870. We had rain at Christmas two years ago, yet last winter had more sub-zero temps than average. Relying solely on the Rain Gods and the Power Company to meet daily needs... rolling black-outs in some states in the past few years? There's a reason I've been insulating and seeking ways of temporary back-up if it ever becomes necessary, including a small tornado shelter that just might save a life one day (granddaughter here is one heck of a reason).
Economically, we have the same storm warnings. Thinking we're invulnerable as a country is historically foolish - how many countries have fallen due to economic distress and dis-ease? Farmer wisdom, if you see a storm approaching, you do what you can to protect yourself, whether it's rushing crop harvesting or chasing down a stray calf. If the storm misses you, all well and good, but if it slams through - you've done what you could. In the global view of this, if we don't unite to redirect our economic structure and allow the current condition to progress, it can only get worse. Established financial giants a century old are collapsing, and few people are seeing 'the roots of this problem' - usually they see the infestations and damage only of recent times but not the source of it. Until a greater wisdom develops, this man-made storm is growing on our horizon. We may not be able to do much, but awareness is the beginning point of prudent action.
And I'll now apologize for this blog being lengthy and somewhat dull. :)
In the extreme, I'll refresh your day with a parting thought: "...if the market collapsed and a food shortage occurred..." anyone hear of worm farms? Talk about a small hit of protein! But these are a strange creature, where they can be cut in a half and will regrow? At least, this is what I heard and when my sister chopped one in half, both ends were still highly active. I truthfully don't know how worms reproduce, if someone wants to inform me. But it seems to me, in a survival mode, a worm farm might provide sustenance for months if necessary (remember Winter??).
See... always thinking! Hand me a worm for my nettle salad... :)
I'm not there now, but between warnings of pandemics, sunspots, massive storms, global warming, droughts, global civil unrest and major power-grid failure... Gads, losing the 'net would suck, wouldn't it?
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Course work, Integral Health
For those of you who know and love me just the way I am... skip this blog! :)
The assignment reads as follows:
1. Based on your reflections and the assessments completed in the project: On a scale of 1 to 10 (ten being optimal wellbeing) where do you rate your A-physical wellbeing, B-spiritual well-being, C-psychological well-being? Why?
2. Develop a goal for yourself in each area (physical, spiritual, psychological).
3. What activities or exercise can you implement in your life to assist in moving toward each goal?
4. Describe your experience with The Crime of the Century relaxation exercise.
As we all can see, this is not an easy project to 'blaringly blog'. Nor am I one to share my personal stuff too freely. But I'll try.
1) Physical well-being: Room for improvement, but I can outwork most ladies my age and my children. But there is a cost that goes along with this physical demand and I am showing signs of the years of this activity. On a personal scale, I'd give myself a six.
To rank a full 10, I'd have to grow new teeth, reverse greying, literally 'knuckle-down', give up a few bad habits (not my view, but current social view), and live gently with my body -- odds likely these aren't happening this semester!
Spiritual well-being: I'm pretty much okay with me, my spirit friends, and the Universe. I could be doing more routine practice, but my life is not conducive to routines. When I need and as I find them, I embrace what appears. Much of this is translated into thought, ponderings, and musing throughout my day and night. Today I began a series of Ayurveda tapes while driving on my census job; there's lots to think about as it is presented. I'd give myself a 7 - 8 ranking, since I've delved my own beliefs in full discomfort over the years (possibly one hasn't really grasped this until they've experienced the discomfort of facing themselves, but I may be wrong).
Psychological well-being: Tend to sane by my own daffynition, but frequently have 'too much, too fast' pressuring me to maintain my grip. "I have to play to stay sane" - it's my creative expression for pleasure and purpose that renews me. This currently includes bringing together home repairs and upgrades. I'd give myself a 7 - 8 most of the time, with a few ups and downs.
These will not be remedied anytime soon, short of a full body cast, winning the Powerball, or for some reason being locked up - cell or padded room. Class deadlines, census deadlines, home repairs, volunteer work (peace coalition), winter coming, economic understanding, weather patterns - or lack thereof, and doing my utmost to prepare for the coming storms in several of these areas...
I've been exploring options for back-up electricity and water storage, even if these were necessary for a few days in the summer or winter due to power failure. The practicality of this becomes apparent if you simply shut of your main breaker for a few days - can't even flush a toilet or run the tap, much less preserve refrigeration or maintain heat. Doing what I can now with future considerations is practical since there is a collective group of life-forces dependent on these besides myself.
So... what could I realistically set as goals in the three areas discussed above? Not sure if this qualifies, but 'work smarter, not harder' - a 60-pound sack of cement weighs 60 pounds, and I tend to need it in the cement mixer when I'm home alone. (The dogs are useless.) To take some of this physical stress off of me, I've been considering building a 'teeter-totter' system to lift these; my full 107 pounds would easily lift them into position, and if I had a pin to hold it - then I could freely dump without challenging arms and shoulders. Opinions?
Physically - I'll eat 'within my guidance'. Eggs and whole wheat toast outrank pizza on thick, white dough, even if the pizza is available and within reach. And I'll do it as my body dictates, not by 'the clock'.
Spiritually - I'll try to 'sit outside more' instead of continually working. Difficult challenge, because I can't walk outside without a dozen tasks needing attention. But I'll ease up on myself a bit.
Psychologically - I will shut down my computer at night so the incessant hum doesn't mess with my mind (it's in my room, along with my 'inside work' of courses, census, paper work, and graphic work). And I'll 'shake off' some of the stresses.
The meditation presented in the Crime of the Century relaxation exercise put me to bed! I am highly susceptible to outside influences, and the 'zoning' that comes with driving alone is one example of 'when not to relax too much'.
On a personal note, I went out with son Matt to investigate an old barn he plans to tear down; I'll be helping him and salvaging timber for my use, too. While there, I tried to lift a rock from a rock pile to see how firmly attached to gravity it was (it was). I don't think it'll be a rock that comes home with me, but in the process I bumped a knuckle into Ye Olde Stinging Nettle (Horse nettle in our world). I learned not to scratch it as a child, even though it feels like ant stings. It did make its presence known for several hours after the initial 'high rush'.
I stopped to wonder why the Universe would present this in my life, so I looked it up online. The stuff actually is a quite potent herb, food source, and medicine! It can be eaten raw (a video showed how to pick the leaves without suffering my consequences), dried, frozen, ingested as a tea, used as a poultice, or even a hair rinse. It's one of the highest protein-plants known?
Gee. And I thought it was a weed.
The assignment reads as follows:
1. Based on your reflections and the assessments completed in the project: On a scale of 1 to 10 (ten being optimal wellbeing) where do you rate your A-physical wellbeing, B-spiritual well-being, C-psychological well-being? Why?
2. Develop a goal for yourself in each area (physical, spiritual, psychological).
3. What activities or exercise can you implement in your life to assist in moving toward each goal?
4. Describe your experience with The Crime of the Century relaxation exercise.
As we all can see, this is not an easy project to 'blaringly blog'. Nor am I one to share my personal stuff too freely. But I'll try.
1) Physical well-being: Room for improvement, but I can outwork most ladies my age and my children. But there is a cost that goes along with this physical demand and I am showing signs of the years of this activity. On a personal scale, I'd give myself a six.
To rank a full 10, I'd have to grow new teeth, reverse greying, literally 'knuckle-down', give up a few bad habits (not my view, but current social view), and live gently with my body -- odds likely these aren't happening this semester!
Spiritual well-being: I'm pretty much okay with me, my spirit friends, and the Universe. I could be doing more routine practice, but my life is not conducive to routines. When I need and as I find them, I embrace what appears. Much of this is translated into thought, ponderings, and musing throughout my day and night. Today I began a series of Ayurveda tapes while driving on my census job; there's lots to think about as it is presented. I'd give myself a 7 - 8 ranking, since I've delved my own beliefs in full discomfort over the years (possibly one hasn't really grasped this until they've experienced the discomfort of facing themselves, but I may be wrong).
Psychological well-being: Tend to sane by my own daffynition, but frequently have 'too much, too fast' pressuring me to maintain my grip. "I have to play to stay sane" - it's my creative expression for pleasure and purpose that renews me. This currently includes bringing together home repairs and upgrades. I'd give myself a 7 - 8 most of the time, with a few ups and downs.
These will not be remedied anytime soon, short of a full body cast, winning the Powerball, or for some reason being locked up - cell or padded room. Class deadlines, census deadlines, home repairs, volunteer work (peace coalition), winter coming, economic understanding, weather patterns - or lack thereof, and doing my utmost to prepare for the coming storms in several of these areas...
I've been exploring options for back-up electricity and water storage, even if these were necessary for a few days in the summer or winter due to power failure. The practicality of this becomes apparent if you simply shut of your main breaker for a few days - can't even flush a toilet or run the tap, much less preserve refrigeration or maintain heat. Doing what I can now with future considerations is practical since there is a collective group of life-forces dependent on these besides myself.
So... what could I realistically set as goals in the three areas discussed above? Not sure if this qualifies, but 'work smarter, not harder' - a 60-pound sack of cement weighs 60 pounds, and I tend to need it in the cement mixer when I'm home alone. (The dogs are useless.) To take some of this physical stress off of me, I've been considering building a 'teeter-totter' system to lift these; my full 107 pounds would easily lift them into position, and if I had a pin to hold it - then I could freely dump without challenging arms and shoulders. Opinions?
Physically - I'll eat 'within my guidance'. Eggs and whole wheat toast outrank pizza on thick, white dough, even if the pizza is available and within reach. And I'll do it as my body dictates, not by 'the clock'.
Spiritually - I'll try to 'sit outside more' instead of continually working. Difficult challenge, because I can't walk outside without a dozen tasks needing attention. But I'll ease up on myself a bit.
Psychologically - I will shut down my computer at night so the incessant hum doesn't mess with my mind (it's in my room, along with my 'inside work' of courses, census, paper work, and graphic work). And I'll 'shake off' some of the stresses.
The meditation presented in the Crime of the Century relaxation exercise put me to bed! I am highly susceptible to outside influences, and the 'zoning' that comes with driving alone is one example of 'when not to relax too much'.
On a personal note, I went out with son Matt to investigate an old barn he plans to tear down; I'll be helping him and salvaging timber for my use, too. While there, I tried to lift a rock from a rock pile to see how firmly attached to gravity it was (it was). I don't think it'll be a rock that comes home with me, but in the process I bumped a knuckle into Ye Olde Stinging Nettle (Horse nettle in our world). I learned not to scratch it as a child, even though it feels like ant stings. It did make its presence known for several hours after the initial 'high rush'.
I stopped to wonder why the Universe would present this in my life, so I looked it up online. The stuff actually is a quite potent herb, food source, and medicine! It can be eaten raw (a video showed how to pick the leaves without suffering my consequences), dried, frozen, ingested as a tea, used as a poultice, or even a hair rinse. It's one of the highest protein-plants known?
Gee. And I thought it was a weed.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
"Who are You?"
Warning: This blog messes with known realities.
The question, "Who are you?" baffles me. It changes in the context of what I'm doing and who is asking - I may be 'somebody's mother' or 'survey worker' or defined by my activities and interests. I am all of these things and none of these things, and my given name is not much help!
My birth certificate used to have one name, then it was changed by the time I was baptized (which I don't remember a thing about, but I probably thought I'd screwed up somehow and they were trying to drown me). Then I married and my name changed, until I divorced when I intentionally changed it to reflect this. Great. My name's unstable.
When asked this universal question, I occasionally respond with, "I assume you mean this lifetime..." I don't have a handle on this, and if I simply give my name and occupation, it feels superficial. I was tripped up by a four year-old who wanted to know 'who I was'. Names and occupations are irrelevant at that age, she wanted to know 'what I was doing on this planet' as it related to her perception. I satisfied her by stating I was a Mom with kids and even some grandkids her age, and that I had dogs, too. She could relate then, and I was okay in her world.
From a sense of timeless Soul - I do think time does not exist as we know in other dimensions - I don't exactly know "Who I am." I tend to think we all do know who we are in this context, just we have collective amnesia while we grow through this lifetime.
I don't know who I am.
I finally realized I didn't need to know 'who I really am' here and now. Simply "I am" is more than sufficient. Just grasping this concept in an expanded, timeless way is all I need to know. Whatever comes after that is just the unraveling of the threads.
The cool part is I see this in everyone I meet. They give name or occupation, but the sense of Soul is right under the surface. Weirdly, most folks are not aware of this. I think that is where we are all truly connected.
Oh. Well then, yes, things like nationality and race and age and religion are less important to me. They're temporary in my view, with a curtain-call at the end of this lifetime. But if their view is the earth-bound one, it's not my place to intervene.
Try making eye-contact with a friend or stranger a few seconds longer than usual, and odds are you'll sense a feeling of "too much information" - we're not able to process this awareness well? Something about it makes us uncomfortable, but babies are 'full-eyed starers'. I wonder what they're seeing in us...
So in my world, "Who are you?" is undefinable, but I know "You Is."
And I'm glad you're here. :)
Now go stare into someone's eyes and check the reactions!
The question, "Who are you?" baffles me. It changes in the context of what I'm doing and who is asking - I may be 'somebody's mother' or 'survey worker' or defined by my activities and interests. I am all of these things and none of these things, and my given name is not much help!
My birth certificate used to have one name, then it was changed by the time I was baptized (which I don't remember a thing about, but I probably thought I'd screwed up somehow and they were trying to drown me). Then I married and my name changed, until I divorced when I intentionally changed it to reflect this. Great. My name's unstable.
When asked this universal question, I occasionally respond with, "I assume you mean this lifetime..." I don't have a handle on this, and if I simply give my name and occupation, it feels superficial. I was tripped up by a four year-old who wanted to know 'who I was'. Names and occupations are irrelevant at that age, she wanted to know 'what I was doing on this planet' as it related to her perception. I satisfied her by stating I was a Mom with kids and even some grandkids her age, and that I had dogs, too. She could relate then, and I was okay in her world.
From a sense of timeless Soul - I do think time does not exist as we know in other dimensions - I don't exactly know "Who I am." I tend to think we all do know who we are in this context, just we have collective amnesia while we grow through this lifetime.
I don't know who I am.
I finally realized I didn't need to know 'who I really am' here and now. Simply "I am" is more than sufficient. Just grasping this concept in an expanded, timeless way is all I need to know. Whatever comes after that is just the unraveling of the threads.
The cool part is I see this in everyone I meet. They give name or occupation, but the sense of Soul is right under the surface. Weirdly, most folks are not aware of this. I think that is where we are all truly connected.
Oh. Well then, yes, things like nationality and race and age and religion are less important to me. They're temporary in my view, with a curtain-call at the end of this lifetime. But if their view is the earth-bound one, it's not my place to intervene.
Try making eye-contact with a friend or stranger a few seconds longer than usual, and odds are you'll sense a feeling of "too much information" - we're not able to process this awareness well? Something about it makes us uncomfortable, but babies are 'full-eyed starers'. I wonder what they're seeing in us...
So in my world, "Who are you?" is undefinable, but I know "You Is."
And I'm glad you're here. :)
Now go stare into someone's eyes and check the reactions!
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