Caulk guns...

I think we should ban caulk guns from the general population. They are frustrating, and why we, as an intelligent society, haven't been able to invent a more user-friendly version is beyond me.

If you haven't caulked recently, you may have forgotten the Impossibility (which I believe is intentionally built into these) of a clean, smooth line. Fingers usually come into play, even if one has a rag or paper towel handy. The paper towel will stick and shred to sticky fingers anyway.

The optimism is built high with these - "Anyone can do it!" and every hardware store stocks these dangerous tools. Don't believe it? Yesterday by Tube #4, I was envisioning selling my soul to the Devil in exchange for never having to caulk again. I contemplated a Hell where a person is forced to caulk for all eternity, and the only way out is to do a professional job - few would ever exit, and I would not be one of them.

I know, it's caulk - anyone can do it. I'd grit my teeth, regain my composure, set out again with a new tube and fresh burst of determination to do a clean line. Which is when an air bubble inside the tube would burst, leaving a gap and a splat. It's one of the most contrary things to work with, and I didn't get better as I went, just more frustrated with the whole thing - meaning I gave up neatness for speed and let the caulk fall where it may.

These guns are dangerous to your mental well-being, as proven yesterday when my mantra changed to "I hate it, I hate it, I hate it" while wielding a spewing caulk gun. That I could hear the Devil laughing coarsely at my efforts led me to conclude this product was designed in Hell.

Caulk guns should not be freely available to the general public at this time because of the inherent health risk. If anyone had shown up and innocently pointed out I had "caulk over there" yesterday, I would have strangled them while under the influence - of caulk.

So I'm starting The Caulk Movement, where funding for other government projects, like NASA, are put on hold until we have upgraded 'caulking'. We have laser beams and friggin' talking check-out machines (which I abhor, too, the sugary voice that informs you to put your purchases in the bag or call a cashier, who happens to be leaning on the other end of the counter, anyway) - but we've never improved the tool to get caulk where we want it.

A laser beam that lays a caulk line should not be that impossible - please do not give it the ability to talk! We can then get rid of all our caulk guns (admit it, they're full of gunk from previous uses) and get back to space research and such. Let's get our geniuses working on this.

I assume you've all figured out not to call me if you need caulking done!

I wood if I could...so I did?

This was the old, the worn, the ugly... only 2 weeks ago.


The small wood enclosure under the window was simply to protect insulation and lawnmowers for the summer, it never was intended to be permanent! And yes - my pink insulation is showing from where I haven't finished landscaping yet. Do count the steps...

AND THE NEW!!! (Door's open to show off the insulation)

Unfinished and the saw is borrowed, but we see what happens in 2 weeks when I have 'free slab wood' available. The window was donated by Pete; he'd had these for several years and no place to put them - 3 are in the first 'workshop'. I did buy the double-door (Habitat, of course), the inside insulation is part of what I've been hoarding since spring (Habitat, need I say it?). The large rocks came from Freecycle, and I dumped 10 bags of gravel from Mendards to help fill it up (pallet of broken bags, $10... who, me?).

The inside has 3 steps now, the first one more of a platform - old age, the original design had too many steps! The main goals were providing a place for coats & boots instead of the living room, backing off the Cold a few more feet, and providing storage.

I've leaned on a few friends, in that Matt's air compressor is seen in the doorway, Pete loaned his nail gun and hauled the door for me, and Bill loaned the mega-saw (he also gave 2 days of labor, which not only helped me out, but let Sera off the hook). Bill had the slabs, and I used Matt's truck to haul them.

Win-win situation, in that I helped Matt with some truck repair costs that balanced with borrowing it, but I can say -- the truck is never empty when I go to borrow it, and last time it literally had 'the kitchen sink' in it - some type of antique, cast-iron thing, I think, and darned heavy to hoist out!

I was 'the brains' behind this creation, and it has plenty of flaws that, hopefully, aren't too obvious, but after exhausting myself thoroughly, I think it's not too bad? Yes, it was designed around the tree. Now the yard is absolutely trashed, the inside needs a ton of repairs, and things aren't quite done, but compared to the top pic, I hope my 'sweat equity' pays off in useability this winter.

Don't let the top pic fool you - the posts were rotting off and it was mess... compared to now, with wood piles everywhere and tarps covering stacks of things in the yard. :)

Now aren't ya'all glad you're not here???