Frost-Face Trumps Hat-Hair

Life Awareness, Winter 101: Provides hands-on experience with the varying levels of misery one may be exposed to in winter conditions.

This is not a course I'd sign up for, in that I've lived it with refresher classes once a year for half a decade; anyone that is eager to sign up - you may have a future as an on-the-scene weatherman / woman.

Hat-hair is annoying, especially when long hair tangles under your collar, the edges freeze, and it styles into a look similar to a tornado hit before packing down. It is a better alternative to Blue Ears, but it is still annoying. Usually by the time you take the hat off, you're sore and weary and trying to peel off layers of clinging clothes; the hat-hair just frosts the cake on the experience.

It's nice to know you can circumvent the distraction of hat-hair by experiencing a frost-face situation. This is when it's so darned cold that your face freezes within 5 minutes of exposure, thereby effectively making hat-hair less of a nuisance. This starts out as a stinging pins-n-needles sensation that reddens one's nose while killing air-borne germs by quick-freezing them. This does lead to the runny nose / frozen hair state, where body fluids begin to leak. This may be the body's attempt to keep your nose thawed so it doesn't fall off, but I'm not sure.

So now instead of hat-hair bugging a person, they have a dripping red nose, stung cheeks, and frosted hair that will turn wet once they get back inside. This does lead to my conclusion that Frost-face trumps Hat-hair, though they both can occur at the same time. In other words, misery has notched it up a level.

What is of greater concern is that so many people are learning these lessons right now. We're a month into 2011 and the weather channel lists 7 major storms in Dec / Jan already. I'm not sure if they included the west-coast flooding, which would equate "one a week" of seriously-severe weather, and that's just our country. Australia and many other parts of the planet are in dire straits, too - we're not alone. Not sure what this bodes for the summer, but it isn't looking good.

Watching the current weather pattern, the cold front that's freezing us is also keeping the whole mess south, which I can appreciate. Does mean David in Colorado feels like he's back in Minnesota, Chicago relatives have been weather-whalloped and ice storms are raging - all the fun we'd be having if the cold front wasn't holding it south of us. It seems weird to be grateful for the cold, but ice-storms are worse (still chipping here) and losing power during one is a higher misery level on the chart.

Now then, hat-hair seems to be quite the minor nuisance! Aren't you glad I put that in perspective for you? For those who refuse to wear hats, all I can say is Blue Ears are not attractive and even if they were, it'd be easier to use food coloring. (There's something for folks with cabin fever to do, hmm? I wonder what the schools would do if a kid showed up with a completely dyed face - doesn't wash off well, don't ask how I know.)

If anyone has thoughts on back-up power systems, please do share! I'm betting the summer has a 50-50 chance of being wild. These aren't great odds; if a pilot thought a plane had a 50-50 chance of a safe flight, I wouldn't get onboard if I didn't have to. And... just being able to turn on a light and coffee maker is huge when the power's out. Anyone making suggestions, remember you're talking to me - i.e. the odds of having several gallons of gas on hand for a generator is probably not high. Solar, wind, electro-magnetic, hamsters on wheels charging up batteries... those are more in my league. And I'm financially restricted on options.

Did you know hamsters can run 5 - 8 miles a night on their wheels?

Has anyone considered that every time we drive anywhere, we're creating a huge batch of wind that could be charging batteries in the trunk? This is easily proved by opening a car window on the highway. Add a DC / AC converter, and it's not so ridiculous. Just I don't know how to do this. I'm not looking at an electric car, but home power outage options; if a person knows how to add the car, it'd be a bonus! (I know, gas prices going up - we should all be recharging batteries as we drive.)

What if... trains on the track were charging capacitors as they flew by? Why not? And I'm not sure if that's the right technical term, but you get the drift. A lot of unused potential, my thinking! And while we're freezing or shoveling or suffering with cabin fever, we may as well 'have our thinking caps on' (gag if you remember the image of the old school marm tying on an invisible cap).

Hope Phil the Groundhog was right today - Spring is on the way. Of course, this can hit hard and fast, too, which will create swampy conditions - Jim, watch the rising waters, please! A gentle spring would be nice.